There was a time in my coaching career when I felt worn out from working with clients who always needed encouragement just to move forward. They weren’t difficult or bad people, and I don’t want to judge them. Still, I kept repeating the basics and never got to the deeper topics that truly inspired me. Those deeper conversations were the main reason I wanted to be a coach in the first place.
I began to wish for something different. I wanted clients who were self-reliant and ready to take charge of their own growth. I hoped to work with people who saw me as an accelerator, someone who could help them move forward faster and make things easier, not as someone who had to keep motivating them to continue.
In short, I set that intention and pictured myself working with people who fit it. I imagined working with clients who were eager to learn and discover new possibilities and opportunities waiting for them.
I repeated this process many times.
Time passed, but nothing changed.
Everything stayed the same.
Honestly, it took me some time to figure out what was really happening. The answer turned out to be surprisingly simple:
The Universe doesn’t respond to what we want; it responds to who we are.
Put simply…
Back then, without realizing it, I was acting as a rescuer. I didn’t do it on purpose—I just wasn’t aware of the role I was playing.
That unconscious role influenced everything, especially the clients I attracted.
Things only started to change when I became aware of this and learned to manage my urge to save people who weren’t ready to invest in themselves. Nothing shifted until I noticed that impulse in myself and worked through it instead of just reacting.
I’m truly grateful for Mindfulness because it helped me finally notice that pattern, feel it, and work through it instead of letting it shape my entire coaching approach.
Looking back, who I am now might seem a bit cold or distant to my past self. But that’s just part of growing.
So why does this happen in the first place from an energetic perspective?
As long as we carry that hidden urge to save others, we unconsciously send out a very specific signal.
Here’s what that signal attracts:
• people who want to be saved
• people who aren’t ready to stand on their own
• clients who expect us to be their driving force
• relationships where they take motivation from us but don’t take responsibility.
Energetically, the message is:
“I’m the one who needs to lift you.”
So, naturally, people who need lifting are the ones who show up.
But when I stopped acting on that urge to rescue, my inner message became much healthier:
“I’m here to support you, not carry you.”
Honestly, everything changed almost immediately. Suddenly, people who wanted support instead of saving started to show up.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this today, but it’s been on my mind all morning—even during my morning espresso ritual. 😉